Question: Me and my boyfriend have been on again off again for 4 years. About a year ago we split for a while, but we have been back together for 7 months. We recently found out that he got another girl pregnant while we were separated and she is keeping it. I feel totally heart broken. How should I handle this? What can I do?
Answer: The easy answer is that the two of you were not together, so you can not be too upset about the things that happened at that time, but I know that is not realistic. First, you have to figure out why the two of you have been on-again, off-again and deal with that. There is something about your relationship with your boyfriend that you are able to walk away from as well as something that also brings you back. Hopefully it is more than just convenience.
Secondly, it is a tough pill to swallow, but if you are going to move forward with your boyfriend, you have to move forward fully. Assuming that your boyfriend will play an important role in his child’s life, then if you decide to stay then you need to be supportive. If he is not going to take an active role in the child’s life, then that starts to speak volumes about what you could possibly expect in the same situation.
So you really have to decide if you are going all-in or folding your cards and you should not feel bad with either decision that you make since your boyfriend made the decision to get a girl pregnant while you were not together, there are still consequences for those decisions.